Here’s remembering the boy of almost a quarter-century ago, who managed to do just well enough in his studies to go to any junior college of his choice, and study whatever he wanted.
This is the boy who chose the toughest subject combination, confusing his liking with his competence.
The one who got on the wrong footing with ‘most everyone and everything from day one, a quarter late in the year as the second incoming batch.
Late at the start of school, since the start of his time there.
Confused over all his work, bumbling through gathered activites.
Physically messy, mentally disorganised, social gaffes galore.
Here’s remembering the boy with his impotent crushes.
Who thought every girl was attractive in her way, but as couples formed towards the end, continued to be the discomforting, achingly lonesome odd one out.
The fool who tried to run for leadership, and ended up looking the deliberate, insolent clown.
Who even had to be called out in the final hustings, by his very own classmates of conscience.
A model of implosion and self-defeat, deaf to the latest grapevines, blind to his obvious ugliness.
It was an astounding feat he did not get himself killed, gang-pressed into mandatory military.
‘Twas amazing he went on to university after that, to blunder into graduation and public service.
Less obvious was how meanwhile, he also allowed himself to hold the short end of almost five years with she whose feelings were elsewhere.
Here’s the man remembering the golden glory of that most awkward age.
Remembering how failures preceded and proceeded, yet the true essence never wavered.
How the woman who finally accepted him as he was, finally gave him the emancipated platform to metamorphose, and reveal the imago always there.
The man accepts, that failing frequently fast eventually brings forth honest wisdom in the surviving.
So that he now supports his family, grateful for that critical support rendered him at that confusing turning point.
Just wanting to quietly live their moments in history.
But a still ocean is not because it lacks potent depths.
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alanheah posted this
